Like an oft repeated movie
On the late night channel,
Shadows dance through my consciousness
Like a ping pong,
I vacillate between reality and illusion
I walk on the razor blade
Myriad emotions seem to filter out
like one final sip
my heart squeezes itself dry
over and over again
And yet, no tear trickle through my eyes
Today, it won’t lie
Emptiness that I feel inside
Today, it won’t hide
A listlessness grips my soul
And I can clearly see what I am about to do
I feel no regret, if anything a perverse relish
It will be over now.
Once for all.
Neither here nor there.
It will be a home coming. Long awaited.
As the sweet ambrosia of eternal lassitude
pervades my being.
I wish I could slip by
Just for a moment
and whisper in the wind
A tormented soul finally found its peace
In the moment of death,
I finally lived – for the first time ever.